Folk say that the two main
obstacles for a football career are beer and girls.
I’m 32 and married now and am
just recovering psychologically and physically from the effects of both these
demons.
Curse them… even Brains SA.
(No, wait. Take that last one
back).
I even had a few extra
difficulties thrown in the mix for my (non) football career including inbuilt laziness,
Chinese Takeaway love and a time eating Cardiff City season ticket.
The 2007/2008 season was the last
time I played a full ‘proper’ eleven a side game, which at that time was for
Llantwit Fardre FC Reserves.
My hiatus
from the game has spanned six seasons.
After these awol years of missing
playing the game and persuasion from old teammates reminiscing about events on the pitch ‘back in the day’, this week I returned for pre-season training with my old
club.
What followed this week felt like
a sledge hammer to the face, a reminder that even during my youth, when I was
at least half fit, I still hated pre-season training.
Much like infamous non trainers Carlos Tevez and Matt Le Tissier, my brain just wants a proper game to get the juices flowing.
‘Please can we stop running?’ I
panted as people looked on concerned for my health.
You see, in a game situation you
can learn the art of not looking like you're spent and the adrenaline can see
you through on times.
At pre-season though there’s nowhere to hide. Oh no.
When the grass is cut the snakes
will show.
Thankfully much of the feared
bits of training like road running and bleep tests have been shelved in favour
of more modern and intense continental style ball work. The need to hide one’s
self in a bush has slightly decreased.
Only slightly.
32 is old in many ways but
none more so than football. A factor I didn’t consider before returning however was
that I’d now form part of 'veterans' section of the squad, the experienced
heads who supposedly guide the youth whippersnappers through into senior
football.
There are now lads in the squad
over ten years my junior. A few are just 18.
Does that mean we don’t need to
do as many sprints as them in training? Hell no.
Shouldn’t they be downing yards of
ale, playing Xbox and chasing girls instead? Don’t answer that.
I’m pleased (ish) to report here
that I’ve slogged through the first phase of training thus far. It may hurt to
lift my arms as I type this and my left leg appears to have had a panic attack
with both hamstring and calf seizing up but I’ve got through.
That’s the goal at this point –
get through it.
Stay tuned for more sarcastic
reports from the pre-season training pitch.
#LlantwitFardreFC
To soundtrack your own pre season work outs check out the CVDJs free MP3 Pre Season Mix here
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