Be Afraid (of Wales)

With Cardiff City and Russell (#SladeOut) Slade driving the emotions out of football with each passing game, we've even been flirting and fluttering our eyelashes at Cardiff Devils and the world of ice hockey for our kicks lately… if only to 'feel' something. 

Praise the football gods then for our Wales national team, who appear to be on a mission to right the wrongs of the past and qualify for next year’s European Championships in France.

Beating the much hyped group leaders Israel 0-3 in their back yard on Saturday was just the latest statement from a group making their country proud, topping the qualification table with five beastly games remaining. 

There’s work to be done of course with colossal games coming up but the momentum is with Wales and there is a growing raw belief in the camp, in the media and in the support. 

The team spirit is phenomenal with most of it formed by time spent together at under 21 level and the pride and desire to wear the jersey by the talismen Gareth Bale and Aaron Ramsey is filtering down to the whole unit.  

It’s taken Chris Coleman a bit of time to pick up the pieces from the Gary Speed era (a massively underestimated task) but Cookie and the squad look to have found common ground and are edging closer to something big – euphoria on a scale that our nation has yet to see.

I mean, forget rugby because everyone secretly knows it’s only about beer and daffodil hats. What lurks over the horizon next summer could transcend any Welsh sporting event... ever.

     

Wales sides and big names have teased us into dreaming before of course but ultimately the likes of Giggs, Saunders, Speed, Rush and Bellamy couldn't drag us over the line. 

Neither the nearly men of 1994 or 2004 could lay a claim to staying undefeated for five games though and there are new stars emerging now.   

I’m sure Cookie will be telling the players to be calm and not let the excitement and adrenaline take hold – It’s time to see the job through. 

Not the fans though, whether you’re a Wales ultra, a glory hunter or even a rugby person, bring the noise with you in June. Let the adrenaline in, we can use it in the stands. 

I would seriously like to thank Cookie and the team for making a weary football fan ‘feel’ something again.   

#TogetherStronger #CymruAmByth #Wales 

Cardiff City 2 Birmingham 0 - Mundane Vasectomy Entertainment

Over the tannoy it was announced sheepishly that there were 20,000 odd fans at the game but we all know this is down to the club counting season tickets sold which hadn't turned up. Looking around you though you could guestimate there were as little as 13,000 in the stadium. The crowd were sparse and so was the atmosphere but is it surprising when there's nothing to play for and the supporters have just had a guts full of the season - put it in books now and let us have a break. 

Anyway, making the effort to join that pitful flat crowd was myself, walking like a cross between a cowboy, Liam Gallagher and a man who'd just had a vasectomy. This is because I'd just had a vasectomy which is a whole other blog entry - perhaps more suited to somewhere else online. 

Accompanying me and stopping me falling down was my man J.A.P, who was treating himself to his first taste of Russell Slade's 'TOTAL FOOTBALL' :)  

Being so appreciative of my first post 'surgery' outing, even the prospect of Slade's football was exciting to me. Note, I was also on a pain-killer cocktail while declaring this. 

After a first half that was so ugly it's mama slapped it when it was born, City upped their game after the break, mainly (perhaps only) due to the introduction of Matt Kennedy and Eoin Doyle from the bench. 

Young Kennedy (below) has been a breath of fresh air since joining from Everton in the January window. A young fearless winger who hasn't been coached into playing safe and slow like many others in the team. Kennedy can bring life to a game and he changed this one making both goals and getting us out of our seats. 

I couldn't sit down anyway, but still... the concept was there. 

Irish dude Eoin Doyle (below), another half time substitute also took his chance and bagged his first goal since joining the club with a neat finish. With Cardiff's other strikers, particularly Kenwynne Jones, looking more lifeless and unlikely to score with each passing game, Doyle looks like the best option at the moment and deserves a run of games. 

Kenwynne Jones (he of the excessive wage) is an embarrassment in the stands and pushes the team to play in a direct and predictable style - the kind fans have given Slade stick for. With Doyle showing promise now it's time to ditch the carthorse and give Doyle a partner with more movement and a bigger brain. 

Joe Mason would be the fit for me once he's had his new hamstring installed.   

Most supporters have lost any idea of what the future holds for Cardiff City. Some have lost any idea of why they bother with the club. A new badge and playing in blue is one thing but the club needs to sell its vision, the fans need to see a path leading to a brighter future. 

On that note, I did see Russell Slade at the Cardiff Devils game on Sunday - presumably utterly perplexed by the speed and excitement of the game :)  

There's many gag opportunities here which I will leave to you. 

#SladeOut

Cardiff City 1 Bournemouth 1 - Incoming Mild Positivity!

Four points from scary looking games away at play-off bound Brentford and at home to league leaders Bournemouth? I’d have bet my plumbs against this outcome. 

Credit to City who were pummeled to the dirt on Saturday in West London but dug deep for the win with only nine men left on the pitch. A previous grim run of away form appears to have turned with 3 wins in a row. There has even been sightings of ball retention and even... GOALS. 

Now it’s down to Mr Slade, our esteemed tactical genius of a coach, to rectify our form at our house (currently only one victory in 2015) and last night’s performance against a slick Bournemouth team is a good starting point to build on.  

It may have been a first half of just 27% possession for the Bluebirds but they stayed in the game and restricted the Cherries to little more than high tempo sexy passing. Cardiff have to change that - and it may mean a change of personnel in midfield in future. 

Too many times was precious ball given up cheaply with a bad touch or dilly dallying. The whole midfield is guilty of this and the front men need a coaching session in hold up play. I don't think Aron Gunnarsson completed one pass and don't get me started on Alex Revel. 

Centre back Bruno Manga though (above pic) is a star performer for us at the moment, calm on the ball, quick and a threat from a set piece. Bruno and his partner Sean Morrison have upped their game of late. Ben Turner's hoof-ball tendencies have not been missed. 

The City players may be giving the ball away too much but they are battling for each other and giving what they can for the cause. Last night some of the players may have needed to take their first post-game showers in months.  

At times this season they've laid down for an opposition tummy tickle but at the moment the boys are putting up a fight. With only 8 games left and nothing to play for, are they playing for their futures or are they buying into what Russell Slade is doing?  

Whatever it is, it's overdue. 

Following this mini run of mild positivity with a home win on Saturday will signal a neat run of results for the bald one. 

#SladeOut 

End of Season

It seems the curtain has come down on my stuttering weird return season for Llantwit Fardre FC 2nds.

After playing football every year since age seven, a six season hiatus preceded my return last summer. With any form of fitness a foggy psychedelic memory from my mid-twenties, a newborn tiny baby and a time eating Cardiff City season ticket, I might well have chosen the worst possible time for a return to 'proper' football.

To say there was a mountain to climb would be wrong - In my mind I had to sprint up that mountain while juggling oranges, balancing a ball on my head, trying not to step on any small children and counting to a million in Japanese all at the same time.  

After six years out though, I yearned for the grass, the smell of Deep Heat, the comradery of the changing room and the nostalgic high of pulling on the Llantwit Fardre FC jersey once more. 

Pulling on that shirt made me feel like the food critic did in Ratatouille when he tasted his meal and felt potent nostalgia, instantaneously reliving past joy and glory, hope and regret. 

With teams dropping out (or ‘pussing out’ if you will) of the league (presumably through fear of playing us?) only a few fixtures remain and the lads look like finishing in the mid table wilderness.    

My original bold season return target of 5 goals was based on playing around 20 games, so to finish on 2 (TWO) goals in only eight starts (with a few more appearances from the bench) isn’t as baron as I originally thought. A goal every four games is an impressive ratio for a man who cant run without an inhaler and the orgasmic rush of each of those goals will live in my brain for time.  

Contributing a cameo role instead of a full-blown campaign was frustrating and sacrificing playing to watch Cardiff City is even more so because they're shite. 

The hamstrings now spasm at the slightest twist and the limbs creek like a vintage car as the blood pumps but retirement remains on hold (For now).

Bring on the pre-season training (which I will avoid attending).  

Alex Revel Is AWESOME!

WHERE did that chip come from? WHERE? 

Where did that victory come from?  

So far, all he's done is run around a bit, swing legs at balls and jump really high for headers he cant win. Then he does that. 

Although I've scored more goals than him this season for Llantwit Fardre FC (3), credit where it's due, that was a delightful lob. 

Hopefully there's more to come from Alex Revel. 

Stay tuned for CV's report of tomorrow's game against Bournemouth. 

 #SladeOut 

An Upgrade?

The last club crest design, regardless of its content and what it represented, was a bag of s**t which my five year old could have designed better on Microsoft Paint 97.

The ‘graphic design’ (if you can call it that) appeared rushed and unprofessional, further embarrassing fans who were also enduring a mental owner changing their traditional colours at the same time.

With said fruitcake owner, he of the high trouser waist and superior football knowledge spoon-fed by his son’s research on #FIFA15, seeing sense and reinstating club traditions, the times are indeed changing.

Following the return to playing in blue at home, the owner has even backtracked as far as delivering a new crest, largely thanks to his Buddhist mum and an infamous bollocking dished out to Tan at Christmas in Malaysia.  

The new one (below) is an improvement but if that’s an upgrade it really hammers home how bad the last one was. 

It’s of course nice to see the bluebird rightfully restored to maximum power and the font is a nice nod to Ninian. Most fans will accept it on these grounds but what of the actual skill involved in the design? 

The dragon design (below) for example could have been worse but it’s badly placed and as weird as the bluebird on the old badge. 

It's not a million miles away from the dragon in Mulan though is it? 

City fan Karl Payne (an actual ‘graphic designer’) designed this badge (below) in 2012 when the original beer mat style badge was revealed. It’s circulated on social media for years giving us a glimpse of what could be achieved if the club had any class.

Given what's happened and the club attempting to 'engage' with fans why wasn't a vote offered on the new crest? If the club aren't going to let fans vote then at least employ a boffin to come up with something professional. 

Cardiff City 1 Charlton Athletic 2 > What is The Plan Please?

After a fairly positive run of results, including a 1-3 away win midweek, the dread we’ve been carrying to the ground of late wasn’t as potent as normal. City cruised into a 1-0 lead playing very slow and predictable football but on the 75 minute mark were on the cusp of back-to-back wins for the first time in light years (since November).

Enter Russell Slade…  

What an incompetent clueless dinosaur of a Manager this man is.

Firstly, our ray of hope in the game Conor McAleny (on loan from Everton) is subbed – the one player on the pitch clever enough to move between the lines and look to slide a pass of note instead of a safe sideways pass.  

Then Peter Whittingham gets a smack in the mush and blood on his shirt, requiring stiches in his lip off the pitch. 

Slade had a decision to make, whether to replace him or wait ten minutes for him to be stitched up.

Slade waited but Charlton didn’t, making two subs that changed the game while we were dawdling over a sub and down a man. Charlton pressured Cardiff high up and the defence wobbled and conceded.

Whttingham finally returned to the game with a new shirt and bloody mouth, but it was too late. Charlton’s momentum continued in his absence and a soft penalty was forced for the win.

Once again, my blame for the defeat lies with the Manager for his dilly-dallying and poor decision making. You’re not a PE teacher now Russell and it’s 2015, so you need to be able to react to situations in the game and preferably have a few plans in place. 

There was a lot of talk around the stadium on the weekend that the Bluebirds actually played a lot better despite the defeat. 

Personally I can’t see it. For me, there has been a slight improvement in the last three or four games, but nothing dramatic at all and certainly nothing to suggest a corner had been turned or that a corner is anywhere near being turned at all. We have not reached the corner yet. 

If City are better than they were before it's only because previously they were so downright poor that they could only get better. There was nowhere else to go really.

There's 10 games to go this season now and what a waste of a season it has been. There's been no progress at all, the club has gone backwards and no wonder supporters are feeling distant, weary and alienated. 

#SladeOut 

Cardiff City 0 Wolves (& Referee) 1

They (pundits and people in films and that) often say football is a ‘game of inches’ hinging on tiny details & Saturday was an example of that.

You can analyse the game as much as you want but the facts are that the game hinged on a weird sixty seconds for the Referee Robert Madley who had presumably fired up a doobie at half time and lost his mind. 

On a yellow card, Wolves full back Dominic Iorfa smashed Craig Noone to the dirt (below snap). Right in front of us Iorfa winced after the tackle expecting his second yellow, a dismissal and the wrath of his Manager for swaying the game in Cardiff’s direction.

The card never came though and ten seconds later Wolves subbed him to prevent going a man down with the home team in the ascendancy.

City’s support was incensed and let the ref know (A lady in the row in front even called him a ‘F**king Muppet’ at the top of her voice and shook her head for the remainder of the game).

This injustice was also felt on the pitch with a few tackles bubbling beneath the surface but then Peter Whittingham (himself already on a booking) turned into a cross between Roy Keane and the Incredible Hulk.

The mercurial midfield playmaker, he of the deft pass, has barely made a tackle in his career – nevermind one that resulted in the recipient being booted airborne and five yards off the pitch.

Completely out of character, it was a bizarre and hilarious moment that left City a man down and with too big a mountain to climb. 

With Whittingham now suspended and presumably sat in his house playing Xbox, the Manager has decisions to make in how to replace him. With so much of City’s game based around set pieces at the moment, without him, we could be even limper. On the flipside though, the haters will now quench their thirst for a Whittingham-less Cardiff City team and we will see how influential he really is (or not) while he’s missing for the game at Rotherham on Tuesday.

Fans we were chatting to on Saturday over a half time brew / Toffee Crisp (above snap) were happy at the recent run of five games unbeaten which ended with this defeat but on that run Cardiff only scored three goals. Two of these have come from a centre back (Morrison) and a sitting midfielder (Gunnarsson).

Alarmingly, Big Kenwyne Jones is the only forward to hit the net in City’s last nine games and even he hasn’t scored in five. These stats are not great reading before you even get to Eoin Doyle who needs his first goal badly after joining in January following 25 goals for Chesterfield.

We’re dry on goals and City have earned only one win in their last 10 league and cup matches. So, have they really turned a corner? I beg to differ. 

Post game, moving on to lift sporting spirits, myself and @gavinbonson made our debuts at the ice hockey on Sunday to watch Cardiff Devils (below snap). Russell Slade would not have been happy at all the positivity in the game but he may have enjoyed the hot dog I sample which was off the hook.