Lots of shit is about to be pushed your
way about the situation Cardiff City find themselves in. There will be a
cacophony of negative media noise assaulting the senses from your devices
spilling out into the streets. It doesn't matter who is creating this 'content'
coming your way or whether you accept it. It's coming regardless. The doom
mongering pricks who surround us and the beautiful game will be more prominent
than usual in the next week. You may need to go on another unfollow cull again.
Be aware, their noise will grind your soul down as you stare out the window
wondering how it came to this.
The situation we speak of is certain
relegation from the Premier League (PL) after just one season (again) but who
and what is to blame for these latest fails? There’s a long list of L’s but
let’s break this shit the fuck down together here now so we can process our
suffering clearly and move on.
REALLY SHIT SUMMER RECRUITMENT:
It all started in the summer of 2k18,
Neil Warnock and his team have achieved an insane backs-against-wall ugly(af)
promotion against all odds after another war of a season in the Championship
uniting the club and city in the process striding forward together to a
gripping and euphoric climax. Celebrating like children, we ran on the pitch
skipping and threw champagne around. We took selfies for the 'gram with
gleaming smiles basking in the wave of optimism, using the hashtag #CityAsOne
and dreaming of our team of lunatics upsetting the establishment.
The team had secured the bag in a big
way giving the club hierarchy and self-branded ‘Recruitment Team’ a brimming
treasure chest of money (reported to be around £180 million) to buy some shiny
new squad upgrades to help keep us in the new league and build for a brighter
future.
Spunking parachutes of pounds in the
transfer window following promotion is never ever advised and will not promise
success (see Fulham) but shrewd recruitment is absolutely critical to your
survival and fans refreshed their timelines every 4 minutes for news of the
clubs next move. Recruitment can go well if carried out properly (see Wolves)
and can even be concluded sensibly too which appears to be the approach Vincent
Tan and the club were aiming for after wasting mega dough and the epic facepalm
that followed the last time we got promoted.
City started the summer with some
astute shopping acquiring promising young Championship players Josh Murphy
and Bobby Reid (for quite meaty fees by Cardiff standards) totaling around
20 million notes. The thinking behind both moves being each player could bloom
in the glitz of the PL and become assets for the club. Fans approved hoping the
club admin crew were warming up for the headline marquee transfers everyone
knew we’d need. What followed though was... nothing. Absolutely nothing
followed.
Whilst rivals strengthened their ranks
daily spunking obscene amounts of coinage around, there was radio silence in
Cardiff until the dying minutes of #DeadlineDay when a last ditch fax was sent
to strike panic loan deals to bring in Harry Arter from Bournemouth and
Spanish dreamboat Victor Camarasa from Real Betis in Spain after a chance
encounter in a pre-season friendly.
The underwhelming summer work all smelt
under cooked and ended up a bit embarrassing. Seasoned fans all did a
collective Scooby and Shaggy ‘GULP!’ in fear of the daunting task ahead without
the tools we so badly needed, but with a chipper attitude and still giddy off
that promotion high (No ganja plants needed) we pressed on regardless, fuck
it.
ZOHORE ON THE SICK:
What the team really needed in that
summer window of 2k18 was a street-wise number nine in the squad to accompany
City’s star striker Kenneth Zohore. A Troy Deeny type of character who could
guide the inexperienced in the trenches during dark times and squeeze more out
of those around him. They'd be really annoying to work alongside, the type of
colleague who demands you return from lunch 'on time' and tells your boss
you're mowing the lawn instead of 'working from home'. He would tell you
directly really close to your face if you'd had a shit game and you'd take it
on board to try harder next time.
The striker City relied on so heavily
for most parts of the last two seasons essentially just rung in sick every day
in the Premier League. Ken Zohore, the soft monster who could potentially rip
any defenders rep to shreds when confident (see John Terry) or likewise be
timid and have a panic attack when unconfident. When we needed him most,
instead of showing up for his big window of opportunity, he stayed home on the
sofa watching Game of Thrones in his pants ordering UberEats using the
disguised user name BenZohore10.
THE INFERIORITY COMPLEX:
Manager's use the media megamultiverse
these days as a tool to manipulate a situation and push a message. Warnock has
repeatedly used it to dampen expectations of any mad thoughts of things
going well. Instead of hyping up the players potential to be able to win
games in the PL, he'd big up the opposition, perhaps reference their plentiful
resources and joke about us chasing shadows.
Maintaining the agenda of the
'Underdog', almost mockingly the Manager will persistently remind us
how hard the 'great group of lads' work on the pitch
and supporters were often commended for their force of positivity from the
stands but did we have a chance of winning an actual fucking game? Probably
not. We'll 'have a go though' Warnock will exclaim through a wide weathered
smile.
Understandably he wants to zoom in on the enormity of the task ahead but at the same time a little smidgen of a motivational message wouldn't hurt would it? It’s an L before the game starts otherwise. Football is a game played with your head and your legs are there to help.
THE TACTICS:
Channeling the above, it was only
fitting that City approached each game like we probably
definitely couldn't win. The reliable direct physical style
of play which earned us promotion was thought to be able to upset a few teams
and it did but the Stoke-esque smash football will only get you so far. To
compete there needs to be modern tweaks and fresh ideas to nick points when you
may not deserve them. You need to out-fox your counterparts for an extra
1%
The squad was thin though and the
options limited. Almost more so than previous seasons playing at a lower level
taking into account the injuries and out of form players adding to a bare
cupboard. City did show strength and character in flashes but overall set
up to approach too many games with the handbrake very much on almost
writing off points when we needed to be positive and have some belief.
JANUARY WINDOW MAJOR L:
Given the above, by the opening of the
January 2k19 transfer window goals were in short supply to the point of near
extinction and City were literally begging for the nourishment of a new
striker.
Sadly whilst the Emiliano Sala
situation that followed was unprecedented and gravely upsetting, City failed to
get the striker we needed in the building, instead settling for the budget
option of Niasse. All the eggs were firmly in the Sala basket, what happened
happened and we ended up taking backwards steps.
A traumatising few weeks off the pitch took its toll on the club whilst I lay awake at 3AM every night refreshing Twitter for an image of the dude waving back at us on an island waiting for a chopper to pick him up. I held Instagram filtered dreams of him heroically joining up with the squad and coming off the bench to score the winner against Arsenal but it wasn't to be for reasons we dont need to detail here.
I cant even…
LUCK:
I believe in luck. Circa
1998 in a game for our school team I took (and missed) a vital penalty in
a penalty shoot out in a cup semi final and cried all the way home. A game i'd
been wrongly dropped for in my eyes, an important match where I felt the team
needed me. When I eventually came off the bench, my legs couldn't move
through all my sulking, I was a 3 or 4 out of ten at best that night producing multiple
Gallic shrugs at my abject display. Being the usual team penalty
taker I stepped up confidently for the last kick of the shoot-out to send us to
the regional cup final but the strike hit the underside of the bar and bounced
on the line and out. I raised my arms to the sky bemoaning my lack of luck
but it was me who had created it in my head. At night I can still here the
noise of the ball cracking that bar and the bouncing onto the muddy goal line
while my teammates stared silently at me.
It's not just the superstitions and
tarot card reading poppycock bullshit. My belief is fortune does favour the
brave and you will eventually get that refereeing decision or the bounce of the
ball to go your way if you continue to do the right things.
The refereeing decisions our team were
dished out over the season have been cringey at times (see Chelsea H, Watford H
& every time Sean Morrisson jumps for a header in the opposition's box)
with the cave men in the pub shouting at a wall mounted TV demanding the
unmasking of conspiracy theories immediately. Fellow fans in our row getting so
red faced with rage they faced nuclear internal combustion and my Pops
muttering 'These refs dont fucking like us' and shaking his
head in disgust at every single moment a decision goes against us.
It's true we've been denied vital
points at times where Officials chose to favour bigger clubs
and the myth of the decisions evening out over time is indeed a scam but
what of those games of months prior and the points we pissed away? (see Burnley
H. See Huddersfield A & H). Along with the aforementioned
inferiority complex, It is these games that have cost us too not just
corrupt refs.
LOOKING FORWARD:
We will all need time to reflect and
grieve on this darkness. I will need to not look in the direction of the
Bluebirds for a few weeks instead focusing on simpler things like coaching
under 9s mini football and watching the Womens World Cup. Reminders that football was and could be
fun again.
The sun will come out and the grass will smell lush, luring us in with the warm glow of its lurid greens. Just as we show signs of psychological recovery City will release their fresh new kit for the 2019/2020 season.
You'll ignore the sponsor logo font on the front of the shirt and you'll start thinking 'maybe...' again because like 2Pac said, life goes on.
